Sibling Lenten Meditation – March 4, 2021

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose hope is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream:
It fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.”The verses in the first reading have a deeper meaning than I’ve ever known possible. It’s been over 18 months since I arrived at a Entering Canaan healing retreat for those who had lost siblings to abortion. Deep down I always knew something was missing in my life, that something was off. But until that one day 12 years ago, when I found out I had 3 siblings who had been aborted, I couldn’t put my finger on it.

After finding this out while I myself, was pregnant with my first, everything changed and for the first time in my life, my story started to make sense. It would take me 12 years to finally say yes, and really dig deep into the pain and hurt, and go where I didn’t want to go, deep into the wounds of my identity and to start to learn who I was in Christ.

An opportunity for a healing retreat for those who have aborted siblings had been presented to me, and I knew God was calling me to go, but I was afraid. I didn’t want to acknowledge His promptings. So much of my life had been riddled with pain and anxiety and this I thought would only make it worse, right? Well, I don’t know how I got the courage to attend, but I know it was all the grace of God (and a supportive and amazing husband). By trusting in His plan, and His will, I felt peace amidst the fear. I stepped into the unknown, alone, just the Creator and His creation, and decided to let Him mold me as I was designed to be. I felt a great freedom in this. A part of me was put back together that weekend, a part that was so broken and fearful and wounded, was deeply healed.

I stretched out my roots to the stream, and drank deeply. I put God over my fears. I kept stepping deeper into the pain; hours felt like days, the nights were agonizing, a spiritual battle was being fought for my soul. But then the morning came. I no longer feared the scorching heat nor the intense drought that plagued me. The rains came and my leaves were green; I was being made new, just as He had always promised. The fruits came and my heart received its fill. The chains were broken and my cup overflowed. His graces poured down upon me because I said yes, because even in the pain and fear, I chose Him.

Don’t let the tentacles of fear have it’s grip on you. God’s grace is constant, His promise is true, we just need to say “yes” and the fruits will be abundant. -Anonymous

Suffering because you have lost a sibling? Call 977 586 4621 or email lumina@postabortionhelp.org to find out about the next retreat for siblings.