Fifteen years ago I was, if not an active participant in, at the very least a silent co-conspirator to the abortion of my child. There were many excuses for my inability to stand up and defend the life I had created, but not a single defensible reason.
As we went to the clinic, every part of me that mattered—my heart, my soul, my conscience—screamed at me to turn around, but I continued to drive grimly forward. That night, as she rested, I curled up with a bottle of whiskey and cried myself to sleep. It was a posture and a comfort I sought many times in the years to come, and it was the beginning of a cycle of alcohol and self abuse that proved nearly fatal.
I attempted once to make what I thought was a true confession for this sin; looking back, I know that I did not approach God a penitent man—I simply wanted the pain to stop. On Holy Thursday of 2009, I had a remarkable experience. As I sat in a pew in St Rose of Lima listening to young Fr. Lachlan Cameron, I started to feel myself opening up to God in a way I never had before. I didn’t just understand what Fr. Lachlan was saying—I felt it and knew it to be the truth. It was clear to me that this was the man I needed to speak to about the guilt and shame that had eaten through every aspect of my life for a decade and a half.
When at last I sat with him, it was difficult to tell the story I had buried so deeply. As I spoke, I watched him, waiting for a look of condemnation to creep onto his face. It didn’t. After I finished telling my story, Fr. Lachlan asked a series of questions in order to establish the circumstances that existed at that point in my life. As we talked more, he helped me to understand in a real way the very grave nature of what I had been a party to; at the same time, though, he uncovered for me a path of healing on which I could be accompanied by a loving and compassionate God, and he gave me the one thing that had been completely absent from my life for years—he gave me hope. When at last I spoke the Act of Contrition, I stood before God sincere, humble, and truly repentant.
I have talked to Fr. Lachlan on several occasions since then, he has heard my confession, and I have attended several healing after abortion services at which he presided; he has also directed me to resources such as Lumina. He has done more for me spiritually than anyone I’ve ever encountered. Fr. Lachlan is fiercely bright, extremely well educated, and exceptionally well trained, of this there is no doubt. For me, however, I prefer to think that God simply called the right man—and in His grace, He led me right to him. -anonymous
Suffering after abortion? Men’s day October 16th