I don’t know if anyone can ever fully understand the trauma of abortion if they have never been through it. The wound is so deep that just reaching its depth is excruciating. It is hard to comprehend the pain surrounding this trauma and the faith and trust needed to work through it.
I love working with those who have experienced abortion. I understand the amazing gift of their soul that they are giving when they share their experience and trust enough to bare their soul in its entirety, knowing that I understand because I have been there, and they will still be loved. I understand how precious this gift of trust is that they give, when they have experienced abandonment, betrayal, abuse, and most traumatic, the death of their child. The loss is not of an abstract child or unborn baby, it is their child.
How do you explain to others the depths of that wound or the value of the gift of trust you give after that experience? I am not sure there are words to adequately do that, but I do know the value of such an act and pray each day never to abuse that trust, but to cherish it always.
The wound of the trauma of abortion never leaves you in this life. Sure, you can have deep spiritual healing, joy, and peace in your life. Trust that comes from totally experiencing the mercy of God will always get you through whatever life brings you, but you are also still an imperfect human with weakness and flaws. That means you will suffer at times, and that the trauma will come up through your personal connectors. But, do not lose hope at those times. It is God calling you deeper into His heart.
The opening of those deep wounds on a human level can take a lot of suffering to close up again, but that has nothing to do with your faith or trust in God. Faith is not a feeling and you can surely suffer deeply while still trusting. Jesus did it. You can, as He did, offer your suffering up to God which He will surely use for good.
When He was betrayed and abandoned, Jesus felt deep pain, but He trusted through it all. His suffering and horrific death led to the resurrection and our salvation. He trusted and won the battle over sin and death. His life in us, by His grace, will do the same.
So many of the saints have told us this as well, as evidenced in the following quotes by two Saints whose feast days we celebrate in the coming week.
“O my Jesus, you know what efforts are needed to live sincerely and unaffectedly with those from whom our nature flees, or with those who, deliberately or not, have made us suffer. Humanly speaking, this is impossible. At such times more than at others, I try to discover the Lord Jesus in such a person and for this same Jesus, I do everything for such people.” St. Faustina Diary 766
“I understood that to become a saint one had to suffer much, seek out always the most perfect thing to do, and forget self. I understood, too, that there are many degrees of perfection and each soul was free to respond to the advances of the Our Lord, to do little or much for Him, in a word, to choose among the sacrifices He was asking. Then, as in the days of my childhood, I cried out: ‘My God I choose all!’ I do not want to be a saint by halves. I’m not afraid to suffer for you. I fear only one thing: to keep my own will; so take it, for I choose all that You will!” St. Therese
I truly believe those healed from abortion are then called be major warriors in this life. Called to be sufferers with Christ. I believe that their sufferings will then be redemptive, another paradox of the amazing mercy of God, that He would use those who participated in such a horrific act to, through their suffering and witness to His mercy, bring others to His heart.
No, I do not think there are very many who can truly understand the trauma of abortion if they have not been there, but God understands, and in the end He is the only one that matters.
Jesus, we trust in You!
Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.