Keep Knocking – He is There Lent March 10

Today’s readings

Matthew 7:7-12

Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find.  Knock and the door will be opened.

Yea right.  I heard this scripture so many times. I kept asking, seeking, knocking looking for love……

I didn’t understand why that supposed “true love” eluded me while others found it so easily. I watched as friends and family members settled down and started their lives with their loved ones. I was in countless weddings, with the bridesmaid’s dresses to prove it.  Always the bridesmaid….  never the bride as they say.

Sure, I was happy for them.  But to cover the pain, I focused on my career. I gave it my all.  I went from relationship to relationship. Thinking this time, this one, he was perfect, this time it would be true love.  But then I’d notice the cracks of imperfection would self sabotage the relationship.  And each time, it ended, I was devastated, heartbroken, alone and lost. And then the thoughts would come. “See, No one would ever love you if they knew what you did. It is your fault. You’re not worth it. You never will be. “

And then I’d bury myself in tears and alcohol. Then I would get back up and focus on that which I could control. My career. And on to the next relationship.  Still asking, seeking, and knocking to the Lord to help me find the “one.”

After years of this endless cycle. I thankfully came across this healing post abortion ministry, which is where I found the amazing mercy of God’s unfathomable love.  There my eyes were opened and learned that the self-condemning thoughts were from the enemy NOT from God.

You see God was the ONE. He did answer when I asked, and found me when I was seeking, and opened the door to his heart which led to the healing of my heart. He welcomed me with open arms, he forgave me for that misguided decision so many years ago.  He gifted me with the ability to share HIS love with others so they too can experience God’s mercy and love.

I hope you too will ask, seek, and knock.  He is there, waiting for you too!  -CB