We are the Sum of the Father’s Love

“We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures, we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son Jesus.”  ― Pope John Paul II

You Can Call Me Post Abortive

Recently there has been a move to eliminate the phrase “post abortive” when speaking about women who have experienced abortion. I can respect that and certainly anyone who is uncomfortable with it should have their feelings respected. However, I think we need to be careful in telling women who have experienced abortion what is acceptable and what is not. We get that from countless places already, and it may be very different for each one of us.

You can call me post abortive. I don’t mind, I am blessed in both my healing and my relationship with God to know that my abortion is something I did, not who I am, but I am definitely a woman living “post” an abortion experience.

That being said, abortion does not define me. I know I am a child of God. I know He loves me and forgives me, and I have dignity and worth, yet, it certainly is the one thing that has impacted my life more than any other.

I am living “post abortion”, and that major life event has influenced many other aspects of life like no other. Even though my abortion was decades ago, sometimes still does, even in the present moment, and that is okay. I trust in His perfect will.

Does that mean I am not healed? No. It just means it is a wound that I will carry with me to heaven. A wound that still sometimes gets in the way of how I think and act in the present moment making me pause to be sure my reactions are not from the trauma of abortion I experienced in the past.

God accepts me where I am in every moment. In the good moments and the bad. In the joys, the sorrows, and in the sufferings, He allows me to experience. One striking aspect for me is the deep pain of abandonment reflecting my abortion experience of being abandoned by my family because I was pregnant. I was later coerced into an abortion by my father only to still be rejected. A deep wound that still shows its head at times.

Perhaps God allows this so I will never forget my need of Him or that He never abandoned me but is always there waiting for me in that place of pain when it comes up. Can He take it away? Of course He can. But if it is His will for me to have it pop up now and again, I trust it is for my good. A reminder that I am healed because of Him and what He has done, not anything I have or can do. A dependence on Him and His will, and even the place of our deepest intimacy.

For many of us who have experienced abortion, dependence also can be a difficult feat. Lost in the trauma of our experiences many women come out of it not wanting to have to need anyone, even God. But that is not healing, that is self-reliance, instead of depending on the One who saves us. The One who experienced total abandonment on the cross so that we can find Him there in the nothingness of our own abandonment.

In the end, it is important to recognize that the trauma of abortion is something that will probably stay with us all our life to some degree. That does not mean you do not have dignity or worth any more than meditating on the Passion of Christ or looking at His wounds takes away His dignity.

“We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures, we are the sum of the Father’s love for us and our real capacity to become the image of His Son Jesus.”  ― Pope John Paul II

Yes, I am not the sum of my weakness and failures, including my abortion but it is certainly in the equation that brings me to the sum of the Father’s love for me so I can become the image of Jesus.

Sometimes that image may be on the cross, wounded and bloody, the place of His total abandonment and the very place of my redemption.

Theresa Bonopartis
Director, Lumina, Hope & Healing After Abortion
Co-Developer entering Canaan Ministry
www.postabortionhelp.org
www.enteringcanaan.com

lumina@postabortionhelp.org