Hope and Healing After Abortion
“Be Still and Know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10),
I do not know about the rest of you, but I have a tough time staying still in suffering. There is a part of me that still seeks to act on my emotions or change a situation. It is something I have had trouble with all my life and has often hurt me more than the original suffering. The clinging to my will instead of His. The inability to let go of things that I cannot control recognizing God is allowing them for a reason.
I am now more conscience of my patterns. I try not to act on my emotions which often are raging in times of deep hurt. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail, but with the help of God I am learning more to “be still” during these times.
I have also learned that it is ok to lament to God who hears our prayers and sees the truth of any situation. That is why it was so nice to read Pope Francis’ words, “lamenting suffering is a form of prayer and is not a sin.”
Still, I must work at bringing the emotions to God and then “be still,” trusting in Him and His love for me. It is not easy letting go, (something we often must do to be still), especially of things close to our heart. It is a struggle, a dying to self and some days it is easier than others, but when we do get the grace, it is totally freeing and allows us to cling to God alone, who knows our hearts, loves us and longs to fill us with His life.
So, during suffering, although I may not “feel” it, I thank you God for this suffering with which I know you are purifying me and bringing me closer to Your heart!