Todays Readings: Tuesday the second week of Lent
Music has always been an important part of my spiritual life. I grew up in the Methodist tradition and hymns such as “I Come to the Garden Alone”, “How Great Thou Art”, “The Old Rugged Cross” and “Amazing Grace” have always stirred my soul. I have also come to recognize that God uses music to speak to me – there are days I am convinced that the song I hear on the radio is playing just for me.
As I have traveled down my path to healing, my biggest challenge has been forgiving myself. When I stop and think about the sin I committed, it is overwhelming. I don’t deserve to be forgiven – and even if God forgives me, how can I ever forgive myself?
“Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord: Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow”. Last year on the anniversary of my abortion I was able to go to confession and bring my struggle with self-forgiveness once again to the foot of the cross. Through the priest, Jesus asked me not to focus on self-forgiveness but to give thanks that I am forgiven. These words helped me to take a new step, and to move forward from my need to continually punish myself for what I had done. God has forgiven me, and I am finally allowing that truth to sink in more and more each day.
These days, as I sit in a quiet Church and gaze at the crucifix, God is placing the hymn “What Wondrous Love is This” on my heart. Maybe God is asking me to more fully understand the depth of His love for me – something that right now I struggle to comprehend. Maybe He wants me to know that, even in my darkest moment, He never stopped loving me or maybe He wants me to understand that it isn’t my job to forgive myself. I am sure that He will reveal something to me when I am ready.
Today, I invite you to offer a prayer of thanksgiving for the forgiveness that God offers to you. You may just find it opens a new song in your heart.