“Therefore let every soul trust n the Passion of the Lord, and place its hope in His mercy. God will not deny His mercy to anyone ( Diary 72)
A Sign of Hope
The initial retreat day of the Entering Canaan post abortion ministry is called, “A Day of Prayer & Healing” and is the first contact in a progression of events towards healing . Our goal for this one day is to bring those who come to us shattered, shameful, sorrowful and often despairing from a past abortion, to the knowledge that there is hope of healing. In fact, it is Gods desire that they are healed and have joy in their lives again. If the people who participate in this first day leave with that hope in their hearts, the day was successful.
There are many dynamics to post abortion healing. Each person is unique and we strive to honor that dignity in each of them. Some may reach healing quickly, while others have suffered many wounds and may take longer to heal. We trust in God’s goodness and His love for each person and know He is working and wants to heal each one to their core.
A common experience of many of the people who come to us is a feeling of judgment by others. This judgment often confirms for them what they already feel, unforgiveable, and it leaves them with no hope of healing and a fear to come forward because they do not believe Mercy is available to them. Many have kept their abortions hidden, living with the fear of being found out.
The gospels call us all to be careful of judging others. Whether it is judging those who have had abortions or those who may condemn them. Jesus calls us to see we are all in need of His Mercy and so this same mercy should be shown to others.
May all of us reflect the mercy of Christ in the world, and when we feel judged or condemned, may we offer a prayer for the person instead of getting angry. May we each be a sign of Christ’s hope in the world knowing He is showing us the same mercy we are called to show others.
To protect creation, to protect every man and every woman, to look upon them with tenderness and love, is to open up a horizon of hope; it is to let a shaft of light break through the heavy clouds; it is to bring the warmth of hope!” Pope Francis
“ At that moment I realized I was entering into communion with the incomprehensible Majesty. I felt that God was waiting for my word, for my consent. Then my spirit immersed itself in the Lord, and I said, “Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will.” (Dairy 136)
Jesus Passes Our Way
I will never forget that moment. Surely, a living memory. A meeting o f hearts that forever is implanted on my soul, a knowing His touch and that no one can take it away from me. An encounter with Mercy Himself, that would change me forever.
Throughout my own healing, I struggled with depression. I would beg Jesus for healing. I felt bad that I had not experienced a full healing, and my confessor’s eyes showed his own sadness over my continued struggle. I understand now that the fullness of healing must come in God’s time.
One night I felt depressed and suicidal again, but despite these feelings I also somehow had a deep trust in God. I didn’t want the children to see me crying, so after putting them to bed I closed myself in the bathroom, crouched on the floor, and repeated over and over, “Jesus, I trust in You.”
I don’t know how many hours I did that, but well into the night an experience changed my life. I experienced being on the Cross with Christ. But instead of encountering suffering, I felt love so intense that it was capable of taking away my pain. I knew in that moment, my healing was complete.
I have never since sensed the despair of abortion, but only the profound love and forgiveness Christ has given me. I’ve watched my life transform, miraculously, as I’ve been privileged to help countless women and men suffering from abortion’s aftermath. Christ’s love transformed not only my life, but the lives of those I love.
That one moment has been the basis of all the work I do both with developing “Entering Canaan” and Lumina. A confidence unshakable because it is in Him, not in anything I may or may not do. A letting go, a freedom from myself , which enables me to continue to follow Him no matter how difficult it may be. A joy of heart that envelops me in His mercy no matter what I may be “feeling”. This healing, this uniting, is in the present moment because He is living and loves me right here, right now!
It can be difficult to internalize this as we seek healing from abortion. Often it is through others that we embark upon the journey, allowing them to guide us down the path to Him. It can be painful and scary, but the assurances of those who have gone before can give us the encouragement to continue no matter how painful it may be to work through our