I actually was not supposed to do the meditation for today but there was a mix up and so I found myself writing about today’s readings. In some ways it seems appropriate since it is the anniversary of the day my mom passed away.
Like the man in today’s gospel, I suffered from my abortion for years. I wanted to be well, but at that time I had no idea how to go about that. No one was really speaking of healing from abortion.
When I finally got my healing after many years, one day my mom brought abortion up because of something that came across the TV. It was the first time it was mentioned between us since the day I had been kicked out of the house close to twenty years before.
This woman who I thought never thought of my abortion and was fine with it, told me how she had suffered. How it was her sin (my parents had coerced me) and she would take it to the grave with her. How every time I was pregnant she was afraid that something would go wrong. At the time of my abortion, my mom had not been able to standup to my father, and she held all these things in to herself for years.
This is true in so many families. The secret of abortion is poisoning so many relationships, but no one talks of its impact. Many do not even know that this is the problem. That day, I found out that my mom never wanted me to have to abort, how she had looked for other means for me to have my baby but at that time could find none. I learned how she lived with feelings of unforgiveness and condemnation just like I did, but she never said a word to me.
My mom who I thought did not give my abortion a second thought suffered in silence. But God is good, and he brought the lies of Satan into the open so there could be reconciliation. By this time I had experienced my healing and was able to offer to my mother the mercy God had given me, and I was also able to speak of my own role knowing I was not living a good life at the time, but God had forgiven me and He would forgive her too.
My mom ended up going to confession to the same priest I had gone to. We shared the sorrow of my son Joshua and by God’s grace forgiveness was given. Her to me, and me to her and both of us with God and my son.
“Do you want to be healed ?” Jesus asks. It’s not easy, in fact it is painful but it is worth every second of the pain as you grow in healing and the love of God, who waits for you and wants to bring you His peace.
If you have not done so already, reach out today to a ministry of healing from abortion. You will be glad you did.
Thanks for writing this, Theresa.